February 2012
10 posts
i miss the feeling of being dated.
i miss how I’m being pampered.
i miss how i can appear weak in front of joyce, and all she would say to me is, ‘you are stronger than this. <3’
i miss how i can be weak mentally , but yet look weak at the same time.
i hate being strong. I’m not . I’m just trying so hard to be .
i miss the feeling of someone fighting for...
i feel sick:(
boo boo.
when will be the day where u will bring me hot chocolate and snuggle in bed with me when I’m sick?
sigh.
walk away.
I don’t know why she’s with me I only brought her trouble since the day she met me If I was her, by now I would have left me I would have walked away But now I’ve broken away Somehow instead she forgave me She said a woman’s got to do what she’s got to do Even if it means she denied herself the truth Cause when you’re in too deep you wake up when it’s...
i really dont know how i manage , after finding out that you lied to me about yourself.
and still having to wait for you to come and show yourself.
wtf am i that dumb?
the long distance relationship. the guy with the sweden girl.
2 years.
mine was 3 years, with no other form of communication except for msn and email.
how about that?
who is stronger ?
why?
why did u lie again?
grateful and blessed.
whenever i take time to reflect on myself, i always realized that i am pretty much blessed by Him. given that i didn’t have a good childhood, the things i now experienced are so so much better..
its really rare to find moms that could allow you to drink at a young age, to speak openly of your relationships, and even going shopping and being on the same page while talking about fashion ,...
January 2012
17 posts
here i am writing again..
feeling unhappy and all, again.
i don’t get it. why is it so hard to be happy?
i just want to do things that i love, and to keep everyone happy as well.
seems like its a really hard thing to do already.
i am so so tired of having to live up to other people’s expectations and i have realized that i no longer care as much as what other people think of...
if you were me..
would you go into a relationship with just msn and hotmail as means of communication? would you say that u can commit in this without seeing each other at all for 3 years? would u also say that u loved each other so much that u are willing to give up anything else just for you two to be together?
if only you knew how i felt.
if only you bothered listening to my reasons why i did everything. the...
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and...”
– Paulo Coelho (via kari-shma)
its not difficult to give another person a shot at things again,
but rather if you’re willing or not.
people make mistakes but so long as you have faith,
everything is possible.
8782 miles apart.
missing you so much now it doesn’t make sense..
i need you around but you’re not here.
juste debout 2012
finally time to write in here once again.. (:
juste debout was a really good experience ! its my first time and knowing that our standards are not up to par with the international ones.. mm.
its just time to work harder.
haha.
to me,
dance now is not about winning, its not about getting into whatever rounds in battles.
most importantly , i have improved and that is what makes me...
lesser hate.
(:
you know you are growing older when u start reading the news and posting it for your classmates to see , regarding subjects learnt in school.
haha.
there is only so much i could take.
why do u always get mad when you talk to me? why is that each time u talk to me like that, i still talk to you nicely and want to get back with you again? why is it that you have to treat me like thrash and yet i still accept it as it is ? why is that i let you step over me all the time?
each time u talk to me like that,
i feel fucking hurt .
i cry in...
the day will come when i don’t give a fuck about you, delete you off in every single possible way , remove you from every single part of the brain and the heart.
and that day will officially be the day where i give up .
right now,
not yet.
but soon.
That's Legit 2012 (:
firstly, i am really very happy today. i didn’t expect us to reach top 4 because we only spent one day having full attendance , practicing together. however, we did it and i am so so happy. we were actually only aiming to reach top 8!
i guess today was the second time i danced from my heart… the only time i remembered i did that was during KO night in 2008. apart from that, i...
it kinda hurt that you think that I’m really happy right now.
but its okay, i don’t have to make you believe me if u don’t.
i cleared my stuff today.
cried, tore up a lot of stuff and tried moving on.
might seem like it is easy on my side but i can tell you, its not.
just gonna have to accept that its gonna be this way.
i miss you .
and i wish you all the best. (:
December 2011
1 post
goodbye 2011(:
first and foremost ,
there is a lot on my mind right now .. with so much to say but i just find it difficult to type everything out again .(:
well its a turbulent year for me .. full of ups and downs, be it with him or without him . getting into SIM, ending my bartending job , joining Scraplicious, going to taiwan for max party, going to bkk with my mom, going to langkawi with joyce love, going...
September 2011
8 posts
it really hurts to see couples now.
why is it so unfair?
day 8 - the new beginning .
i miss you . i really do .
dont know how im gonna cope with this every single day.. maybe youre not coming after all. its okay. i hope one day , as i walk along the streets, i will see you there and then..
moving on is easier than getting into a new relationship so dont be worried if u see this.
im not gonna want anyone ..
because the only person i want is you.
for that someone.
‘You can cry as long as you want today, everyone breaks down once in a while. But. promise yourself, tomorrow you will get up again and fight’.
If only you knew this.
day 7.
guess im still lying to myself.
believing that you would come for me and that there will be a future for us.
people say that youre not moving on if you keep saying that you are.
i think that is happening right now.
i dont have the endurance anymore.
maybe i should just let it go all at once..
goodluck to you and whoever u find next time. thanks for changing my views. i dont believe in...
day 2.
after a disappointing day and night waiting for a call that never came,
my heart died. i gave up wanting to wait and to hold on. its a long walk to recovery..
day 1.
moved on to this page.
couldnt deal with all the hurt and lies in the previous one.
today is day 1. my heart feels empty. numb, and lost. never going to believe in love again.
May 2010
3 posts
i really had enough of having people put me down all the time.
guess what? one day i’ll just go berserk and throw myself off the window .
i swear.
hurts me everytime.. i do have feelings too.
it still feels like you dont believe.
lol.
April 2010
20 posts
please help me. →
dying slowly.
why?
=\
This road that I’m taking twists and turns My life my chance turning dreams into reality Down this path faced with many things Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away Can’t seem to go on And I’ve been thru’ this before Now where am I? Where do I stand? A little lost here But I’ll remember All those times you’ve bought me through I’d be a fool to give...
dont know.
i think its my fault for everything. people say you can change things yourself.. but i dont know really. in my mind, everything’s like ‘i dont know’ .
i never wanted to hurt the person i love .. really.
i dont know how to start over. im afraid. really scared and alone now.
long long time..
its been such a long time we’ve both felt this way i guess.. its a good thing !
anyway, i have a habit now of heading down to the swimming pool at wee hours in the morning when i cant sleep. the wind is good, breezy but not cold. (: and a pity not many people could actually feel it. they are probably asleep by then . lol.
its friday today and a lazy one in fact. there’s dance...
hello, world.: just let go. →
sometimes, you just need to let go. when you’re always in control, and always worried about if you’re doing everything “right”, then it’s hard to imagine that you’re really enjoying the moment.
when i teach my classes at 429 and culture shock, or even when i teach breakthrough or cookies, i try…
- so true. how to achieve that !
a road to..
despite posting all the happy stuff and everything, you should know that im not really like that. or maybe i thought you knew.
no matter what happens, i already have an answer inside my heart. and i know its you. eventually , it will still be you. it always have been you.
why is it that you cant see it? did i hide it so well till you cant see it?
im sorry for making you upset. i am still...
“I wish you could know
how many times every day
my thoughts run to you.
- i...”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott) (via kari-shma)
“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a...”
– Sarah Jessica Parker | sex and the city (via kari-shma)